With apologies to George and Ira Gershwin,

You like potato and I like potahto
You like tomato and I like tomahto
You like Pervnado and I like Perv Nation
Pervnado, Perv Nation, Pervnado, Perv Nation
Let’s call the whole thing off.

Anyway, if you’ve been having a hard time keeping up with all the latest sexual harassment/assault allegations, New York City’s tabloid newspapers helpfully gave some of the key names associated with those allegations the front-page treatment over the weekend, as seen above. (Yes, folks, witness the tabloid editor’s eternal challenge: to draw eyeballs and sell papers with catchy, witty headlines even in an incredibly upsetting context. We salute you! Or something.)

Meanwhile, just to bring you fully(-ish) up to speed:

• “Gal Gadot will only be ‘Wonder Woman’ again if Brett Ratner is out,”per the New York Post’s Page Six.

• “Danish authorities investigating claims of sexual abuse at Lars Von Trier’s studio Zentropa,” per The Guardian.

• “‘Supergirl,’ ‘Arrow’ Producer Suspended Amid Sexual Harassment Allegations by Warner Bros.,” per Variety.

• “George Takei is ‘shocked and bewildered’ at claims that he sexually assaulted a model in 1981,” per The Verge.

• “Hundreds in Hollywood march against sexual harassment,” per ABC News.

• “Hollywood dreading awards season in wake of scandals,” per Page Six. (Seriously, let’s call the whole thing off for real, OK?)

Oh, and here’s today’s New York Daily News cover:

(The New York Post counterprograms this morning with a sporty front page.)