According to slightly shocked Americans, an advertising site for one wonderful super-elite restaurant in Los Angeles, has appeared on the network, which, as it turned out, has been operating since 2015. The institution is called The Hollydale and the advertisement is dedicated to the action of the institution, which is called Cannibal Cravings. The restaurant introduces us to the following:

Established in 2015, The Hollydale is a purveyor of the finest human flesh, harvested fresh from only the most attractive, willing donors, skillfully and reverently prepared by world-class master chefs.

The restaurant and staff are privately owned by Karina Belenoff, daughter of Somerset Belenoff, Countess of Banbury and Arran. Karina sits on the Board of Governors at the World Governing Council in Luxembourg, and she travels frequently to Los Angeles to ensure The Hollydale is always in tip-top shape! An exceptionally talented concert-level pianist, she has been known to deliver a surprise performance from time to time, entertaining guests at the Hollydale’s Torso Room.

Due to California’s licensing restrictions on the transport of human organs, we cannot allow guests to take food out of the restaurant. All half-eaten food is repackaged and transported by licensed personnel to charitable institutions such as shelters, orphanages and institutions for the elderly.

Sample Restaurant MENU:

Baked Oysters with mushrooms and cream – If you’re allergic to shellfish, remember, these don’t come from the ocean!

Tasty tongue, slow-cooked overnight with onion, garlic and bay leaves – Chopped and served over a green salad or coupled with fresh, homemade pasta

Hearts afire, braised in sherry and served with onions, peas and carrots

Salted brains Bogota and aged shrimp, topped with caramelized bell pepper jam with peppercorns and assorted fresh vegetables

Tokyo-style kidney pie, with locally-sourced baby carrots, potatoes, onions, and leeks

Irish hammered head cheese, made from whole-skull, beaten with a hammer, boiled in a pot with herbs and vegetables for 8 hours, then strained, pressed, and served piping fresh!

Fish and finger pie – a Yorkshire favorite! Real lady fingers, slow cooked to tender perfection so the meat literally falls right off the bone (distal, intermediate and proximal phalanges to be more precise!), along with Atlantic cod fried in a light beer batter

French thighs and pomme frites – leg of Frenchman in garlic and rosemary served with our bottomless steak fries, deep fried in freshly-rendered man tallow

Dulce de Leche salted caramel layer cake, made with vanilla bean brown butter glaze, served with heavy whipped cream and French vanilla ice-cream. All dairy ingredients from mother’s milk

Restaurant visitor reviews:

Thanks to Karina and Hallidale. The people were amazing, the atmosphere was wonderful and everyone had a great time.